I decided to break up with a BF of a year upon accepting that we were dysfunctional in a romantic relationship (we'd get into arguments often, and they'd occasionally end with him saying terrible things that he'd later claim he didn't mean, for instance "I'll leave you forever"). I didn't make the choice flippantly; it was an emotional rollercoaster. At the same time, I yearned for us to go back to being friends as we had been awhile before we became a couple, as I remember that time being much more pure and lighthearted.

He was completely closed off to it, and instead vacillated between insulting me and himself with increasing desperation. I tried to explain to him repeatedly that I valued him highly as a friend, had through the relationship as well, and would continue to, should he feel the same. Instead, he wanted only a romantic/sexual relationship with friendship as an added bonus, or nothing. Even though I was the dumper and respect his wishes, of course, it hurts.