I'm so sorry for your loss. My mom died at 54, it was awful. Loosing a parent that young is gut wrenching. Sleep is elusive and when it finally comes it is shattered with that first thought every morning. The pain does lessen over time, it won't be the first thing you think about forever and eventually something will remind you of your dad and it will be a good thought. I don't know you but I so hope you have good memories of your dad.

The people you are angry with will be even harder to handle right now, is there someone in your family you feel comfortable with? Seek them out at the funeral. I don't care if you are rude to others by ignoring them, you need to do what you can to survive that day. You also don't have to do all the family stuff if you don't want to, if it gets too much go for a walk or leave. You are allowed to grieve how you need to, everyone is different in this aspect.

Internet hugs from a stranger.