This sounds a bit like my parents. Growing up, dad was always cranky & easily upset & so me & my siblings weren’t close w/ him. Flash forward a few years when I’m about 12, him & my mom get a divorce & as we spent time w/ them individually the real story became obvious. Turned out, my mom had been putting my dad down for years & since the divorce I’ve realized how negative & difficult to be around she is. However, my father has become a whole new person. He’s happy, he’s pursuing his own interests, & his relationship w/ me & my siblings has never been stronger! Please take a good, long look at what you deserve out of life/your relationship. I understand not wanting to have things go her way & you can’t see the kids as much, but maybe it is best for them to see their dad stand up for himself & find his own happiness so they learn it’s possible no matter what.