I was out drinking with some coworkers after a work function. We were out of town and at a convention- so we had stopped at a bar on the way back to the hotel. My intention was to have a single beer- then feign being tired because I could feel I had an epic shit coming on. Well I'm halfway done with my beer when my stomach is just fucking grumbling. I take a step or two back from the table and pretend I'm looking at some of their vintage signs on the wall and I rip one. It was silent, but I could feel it quake my ass cheeks. This was the kind of fart that immediately hit the nostrils. So I back the fuck up and get to the table. Pretending like nothing happened. The table, at least for the time being is outside of the drop zone. Well, between where I was and my table is a clear path between the tables to the bathroom / employee area. Well, an innocent bystander employee who I hadn't noticed / accounted for before I dropped ass- starts walking out of the employee area. I'm looking out of the corner of my eye, trying not to be obvious. Well she walks DIRECTLY into my drop zone. And I could see it immediately affect her senses. She doubles over like someone just hit her in the gut. And she's kind of giggling/ laughing (which may be kind of cool- right, she finds farts funny?). So two of her fellow employees, both guys at the bar see her and kind of tilt their heads like they are trying to process what's going on. Instead of just calling it out she kind of waves her hand at them and says these magic words, "come here". This girl is now fantastic in my book. The two guys rush over to her and I could SEE in their faces when they crossed into my fart cloud. And she bursts out into laughter. These guys (boys will be boys right) immediately start to crack up too. Now the profanities start. "Holy shit, someone must have shit themselves!" And there I am, a few tables over- drinking my beer. It was a short waddle back to the car after leaving money for my drink.