This is really rough. I would suggest that she go to counciling to work on all of her internalized feelings. She may not know what she is saying is rude or annoying so she may just need to be told that. Its also possible she may have toxic friends in the community as there are those people out there. My gf who came out to me as bi said there are a surprising amount of just absolutely toxic and entitled people in the lgbtq+ community as she interacted with them at clubs and social events. Appearently some activistic toxic group of them would take over the club meetings and turn it into an event where they would vent and bitch about how they felt they were being treated and make jokes like kill the straights. They would litterally chant it. The club officers could keep it under control so it was eventually disbanded.

Just be prepared if you confront her she is probably going to pull the "youre a non supportive of my transition homophobe" card on you and you need to stand your ground and explain that has nothing to do with this. Being in that community gives you no right to be rude or toxic and just call people out for that when theyre upset with you. Theres stories like this all over reddit like on AITA and Ive heard of this happening a few times at my old college.

Good luck.