Practice Religion. The way to a filled bucket is one drop at a time. No amount of self will help you be selfless. Overcome the self to find the LESS in the word. Less is more. Find the least of these and LESS then becomes your more. The heart that is empty longs for the drops of water in the others you serve.
Confucius said, "I hear and I forget. I see and I learn. I do and I understand." Be a doer of the word.
James 1
27 Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
Church can't help you until you find your heart. ONE virtue only. The rest is a path from right to left if you read correctly. Law leads to Love.
Galatians 3
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.
Law leads to self-control. Keep following until all the relative virtues finds you in the ocean. Come to Christ if you like, but he won't come to you until you find the water. John 3 tells you how. John 2 shows you why.
John 2
23 Now while he was in Jerusalem at the Passover Festival, many people saw the signs he was performing and believed in his name.[d] 24 But Jesus would not entrust himself to them, for he knew all people. 25 He did not need any testimony about mankind, for he knew what was in each person.
He won't entrust himself to you (even if you have walked the aisle) unless you can be trusted. A gardener suffers the hoe. Your heart is the garden. Clear out the stones. Help others and they move the stones that are too large to remove. God does the planting, watering and light. You harvest, which also takes toil. Suffering has a direction and is always self inflicted. The point is to suffer the hoe, not the lost harvest: Buddha had a Fault and Suffering is the Point...