I completely agree. My toddler has chocolate every week from 'pops' - her grandfather. She sees my mum about 2x a year. My mum only drinks fizzy. She swipes her "fizzy juice" every time. As its once every 6 months I let it go. She has a tablet without strict controls on screen time. She doesn't have to share her "special toys" (but she can't take them to nursary and we put them on top of the wardrobe to "watch" when friends come over for play dates. She doesn't have to sit on her chair the whole time we are at a cafe/restaurant. But she does have to stand close to the table. If foods taking a long time she watches cartoons on my phone. She has (totally age appropriate) tantrums. She can be clingy at first and takes 10 mins or so to warm to new people. And,somestimes won't say bye/give good bye hugs.

Her favorate food is whole raw carrots or 'broccoli trees', she's a slim child with no issues with her teeth. She genrally plays well with other kids and doesn't tend to push or shove. Even when other kids do to her (although she is a bit of a tell-tale!). She's very sweet with her sister. And good with the dog. She listens at an age appropriate level. And if I say "do you want to go do x - the tablet is abandoned pretty easily.

We all parent differently - I have my boundaries, other parents can have theres. But I'm not a bad parent and she's not a bad kid because our boundaries are different