(Fixed) When I slightly tilt my phone and the whole screen rotates

Man, that reminds of a true story that happened to me, it ends with me getting raped. Stay with me on this. Back in November of '99 I had just completed my first shift as a bag-boy at the local supermarket. I was twenty-two years old, well-hung, and convinced every women on the planet wanted me. Well, my ego certainly obscured reality because my manager, a middle-aged woman named Beatrice who was a strict disciplinarian, would give me rides home from work every night. This particular night I was frighteningly horny and started spontaneously jacking off with Chapstick during the drive.

She eyed my awesome, powerful cock through her spectacles, licking her lips as we flew along the city streets at eighty-five miles an hour. It was at this point I remembered I had brought my mom's anal beads with me that morning, so I could have something to munch on during lunch break. Pulling the crusty strand of fecal encrusted beads from my pocket, I slurped the mildewed butt-nuggets from them while continuing to whack off like a man possessed.

Noticing a thin bead of sweat forming around Beatrice's forehead, I generously offered her a lick of my mom's shitty anal beads. She leaned toward them, tongue extended, nipples erect, my cock pulsating in my hand...WHAM!!!!

We hit a parked pizza delivery car. The airbags deployed, but I wasn't wearing my seatbelt. I was thrown from the vehicle and landed fifty feet from the crash-site in some old man's tomato garden. During the collision, probably when I was thrown through the glass, my erect cock was not only severed from my body, but somehow managed to become fully lodged in my ass. I had raped myself, and that's not even the most embarrassing part.

When I hit the ground, I was knocked unconscious, and the local news team showed up to film me while I lay face down with my own dick in my ass, still clutching my mom's anal beads. It made the front page of the paper the next morning with the headline "Local Loser Fucks Himself". There was a full-color picture of me, smeared in crushed tomatoes, my own cock buried in my ass.

The only person to come visit me in the hospital was my mom, and that's only because she wanted her anal beads back.

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