omg omg I have to one up!

So for my 15th or something I was living in South America. In the schools there it's like a birthday tradition to make a big deal out of your birthday and go crazy with surprises and food etc etc.

Well I was super excited.. but I didn't say anything and no one said anything to me about it. The problem is I woke up with this awful problem with my lungs.. I was coughing and nautious etc. I went to the hospital and at the desk we had this awkward conversation where the woman asked:

"Date of birth?"

Me: "December 2."

Her: "No.. your date of birth."

Me: "December 2nd."

she looks at me and thinks I must just be a dumb foreigner and lets me through without saying Happy Birthday, assuming I'm just stupid.

I get in there and they're speaking to eachother thinking I don't understand like

"This is really bad. She's gonna have to be quarantined."

Next thing I'm in a hospital quarantine on my fricking birthday. Nurse walks in like "you need this shot."

oh yay, now I'm getting shots on my fucking birthday

I try to give her my arm and she's like.

"No, no. En el culo."

So I turn around and bend over and say in English "Holy fuck this couldn't get any fucking worse you've got to be fucking kidding me was I born under a ladder factory fucking bullshit fuck"

She gets all confused and I just say in Spanish "Worst birthday ever."

So I sit in quarrintene bored out of my fucking mind and I get a text from my friend in school like. "Hey, where are you? We've set you up a massive surprise party.. I shouldn't be telling you.. but I know you flake school a lot so I thought you should know..."

I text back:

"Sorry I can't make it. I'm busy being locked up in a shithole hospital taking shots in my ass."