Yeah it's a fairy tale when people say "you'll know" its more than that. I actually struggled with this hard and during my therapy sessions I learned how everyone pretty much as a whole does romantize love and falling in love and then thinking it leads to marriage and all fast too like I'm talking people do this daily. I always never was like that, I felt weird thinking why can't I have the fall in love at first sight thing? Or just know when I'm with a partner? Because love isn't like that, it takes time and understanding and definitely tons of mishaps and problems that make you question if you're really invested in a relationship or not. All my relationships were long term that I ended because I never understood the concept of this magical love feeling that is just right. Right now my partner of 7 years, I told them do not propose to me right now as I am figuring stuff out still in my life. We do get thru it together and they are my rock and my fire I say, because I'm like cold and depressed never understanding this love concept but for the first time I really understand that this is actual love and I can marry this person but just not right now as I said I am dealing with stuff. I hope you find your answer within both of you.