I'm actually fighting the opposite, as in I'm becoming racist when I was born with no hate at all. I grew up in a primarily white school in the Midwest, with no racism in my personal household (some in extended, barely contacted family) and I used to be excited to leave that town and meet other people. My dream used to be anything to do with Anthropology. I am obsessed with the evolution of culture and learning the small details of people's lives, especially when they are so far removed from what I consider normal, like as simple as how Massai women prepare for a wedding. I know a lot of extremely various and niche mythologies and folklores because I find it all so beautiful how we as human beings are such a beautiful mosaic of life, emotion, creativity, perseverance and intelligent thought. My mom was a big proponent of that, she used to buy me mythology books and weird world music CDs in the 90s that to this day have no idea how she found in the middle of no where lol. Thanks to that, my hidden talent is that I'm self taught to sing songs in a multitude of languages (all phonetically but I have been validated by a few people who spoke the languages and thought it was cool that I learned it.)
 I have since moved to a city that is primarily Hispanic and while I used to be fascinated by the culture and thought the language was so beautifully musical to ear, the sheer amount of racism I face because I'm white is actually making me racist in turn and I hate it. I hate myself for it and I hate what society and media has done in the first place to make them feel they had to attack me first just because I'm very pale and from the Midwest, so they automatically assume I'm an extreme racist with a white hood in my closet. I especially hate myself because I'm white and they're a minority so it makes even the smallest amount of resentment I feel for how I've been treated even more fucked up.
 My job is primarily Hispanic and the sheer amount of women who have told me I'm ugly because I'm so pale, my accent sounds stupid (I'll admit, thick country accent), because my hair is a gross color (dyed copper), that I'm stupid and lazy and don't have the work ethic they do (even though I just got Employee of the Year at my job for going above and beyond, without extra pay), that all of us white girls are fat and gross and bitchy...... it's all just so....disheartening. It's especially disheartening and demoralizing coming from other women who know how badly it hurts, as a woman, to have your appearance belittled so much to the point that it's dehumanizing.
 I understand where it comes from, they've been hurt by racism and when wounded, people tend to lash out first and if or when they attempt to understand, do so much later. I try my hardest not to let it get to me, to understand that they do it because they're in pain also, but it's literally every Hispanic woman at my job except for one, who I honestly would describe as my best friend as far as work friends go. She has always treated me with respect, even going so far as to hug me when we see each since she changed departments, but she's literally the only one. You might think I do something to bring it on myself reading this, but honestly I don't. I treat everyone as politely and respectfully as possible, empathy and the golden rule were drilled into me from birth. Before the bullying started, people used to tell me I reminded them of Rose from the Golden Girls lol. Now they describe me as quiet, almost invisible, which if you knew me, you'd know is weird because I've always been a friendly little chatterbox and I still am with those I'm close to. I used to try to make friends since I'm new here, but the racially motivated bullying has gotten so bad that I don't even interact anymore. I came into this job, bubbly and excited to finally be in a real city and to meet new and interesting people, but now I'm having borderline panic attacks at the thought of even going in for a short 5 hour shift. My boyfriend has had to hold me at nights while I cry my eyes out at my broken dreams and now suicidally low self esteem. I feel so disappointed and disgusted with myself for how I feel, when that's not how I was raised. I think the main reason for the targeting is because I don't fight back, ever. I'm so afraid of confrontation or the even idea of hurting someone's feelings that I don't even begin to know how to stand up or advocate for myself. I guess I'm spilling my guts to the internet because I'm hoping someone's magic comment is somehow going to fix it all and I can go back to being my old happy and hopeful self, but I know better. Rant over, thanks for coming to my fucked up TED Talk lol.