Listen here friend. Let me explain something to you, as a Canadian.

Don't. Fuck. With. Geese.

People are all like "wow, I wonder what it would be like if the Dinosaurs evolved instead of being wiped out!" those people are wrong. Raptors evolved into geese.

Geese are not footballs. They are predators. They are horrendous monsters here to ruin your life. I have personally witnessed a 40lb good take down a 250lb man. Guy walked away, but that goose kicked his ass.

It's true, humans are the top of the food chain. But that's only because we have numbers, and tools. 1v1 you Vs a goose with nothing but the clothes on your back? That goose wins. Every time. Some days the bear gets you, some days you get the bear. But geese? That fight was over before it started.

One last thing to remember. Geese have teeth. On their tongues. If you need any more evidence that these demons are sent straight from the depths of hell, remember that BIRDS SHOULD NOT HAVE TEETH.

P.S. Should you decide to fuck with a goose, please, have some record it. If nothing else, your sacrifice can serve as a warning to others.