For my darling to read instead of putting it on the interwebs~
Ahem, this may be lengthy. so because my boyfriend felt it'd be a super idea to as i worded it " post “our business” to the internet." i feel the need to speak also :)
Okay, well first and foremost. the agreement when we moved into our current place was i would pay *all of the utilities/internet (Which actually runs more than 150* [internet is a flat $60 a month and the utilities are undoubtedly more than $90 [[ i'd say about 150 at least]]) *which means i'm paying ATLEAST $210.
note that he says he's a student, he's taking a single class (right now) to prep for the LSAT and has only ATTENDED 2 or 3 of said maybe AT LEAST 10? (he can make it up online though :) )
I work 30 hours a week and bust my ass in a shitty cafe to make 8.75/hr
the utilities are used MAINLY by him because i'm mainly at work, and when im home, i'm not up for long (unless its my days off) note he says he doesn't have a job, so he's home mostly. (( although i most definitely use utilities/internet, i'm just stating not nearly as much/often as he is?)
My problem doesn't lie with the fact he's now wanting to split everything 50/50 my problem is that while i bust my ass, his family is unknowingly paying THE ENTIRE RENT/UTILITIES and i'm giving him the money.
that urks me because i work very hard and i feel like the money i worked hard for isn't going to rent.
also please note, i'm not letting him starve or have no money available he has more money in his bank account than i do :)
I as any human being have needs other than rent/utilities that need to be paid for. sucks to suck that my chest is still growing and the only place that carries my bra size is VS and is pricey as hell (goodbye 70 dollars!) phone? goodbye $50! birthcontrol goodbye $25!
If he sent the money as he eats the food of mine in the house fiiiiiiiiiiiine, but literally i have to keep pushing the fact he took my shit (oh we have a thing where he buys his food, and i buy mine, easier that way, i eat junk and/or pricey meals (Note, that this is an agreement, and i don't touch his food at all without asking, literally EVER) (also note, that he has food, and still choose to eat mine???????????) (also note that i don't have a car, so when i get my groceries (note i said when "I" get my groceries ((not when he drives)) )) I have to walk my happy ass to the store (which mind you is right next to us.) and get it. Note again, that when he does pay me back, i have to still walk to the store to replace it (unless i want to do things on his watch (but what if i wanted my food????)
He's very great and gives me rides to work and other places when i need it in exchange i give gas money to cover what i took. and an itty bit ( not much but i do give ) for the "wear and tear" as he puts it. ( though at first i wasn't really understanding why i was paying for more than gas, i get it now, and do pay that bit.)
His "family budget" pays his rent/utilities/internet AND includes money for living (like food and toiletries such of that nature). PLEASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSE note that where i may not be paying rent, i am paying for the entirety of utilities/internet AND EVERYTHING ELSE FOR MYSELF! :)
so while yes, i can understand where some of you are coming from where i should be paying half, it's not that he's paying my entire way, and i'm pitching in a measly uh what was that number? $150 a month??
I'm not behind in my "bills" that im giving the money towards, what has happened is that i will pay the bills and towards the end of the two weeks before my next paycheck i run out of money for me! however i make sure TO ALWAYS pay the dues required as soon as i have the money for it! :) (i'm actually quite good at keeping track of how much i borrow from him!)
I highly disagree that i'm "mooching"? uhhh. i've kept the agreement we have had? :)
I read this in the comments "Her paying for her half of the stuff your parents don't cover (utilities, food) is completely reasonable, she should be doing that."
Another to reply to:
"I don't think she's willing to go find another apartment, based on the escalation of her behaviour (first complaining, then sleeping on the couch, and now talking about moving out)."
Note to my honey: you made this statement of how i feel?
It's like "I don't want to pay 50% of the rent. I want to pay 0% or 100% of it." It just doesn't make sense.
oh except i neverrrr said that! :) we have agreements for a reason! and i have no problem helping you out when you need it, just as you've done for me, buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut, i don't like that i know owe a debt of some sort to you bc you're behind, so it's less of me trying to help, and more i owe you it. ( because our agreement as of the move to this town, was just all utilities/internet! :) )
idk lol
i love this man a bunch, not gonna lie. i'm just a little uneasy that my money isn't going to rent, but to his personal fund. where he's using money to pay for food, and for our dates out, I ALSO am paying for MY food and our dates?? so just as my money is going to other things (like bras, and clothes ** side note that i've been in the same wardrobe since sophomore (i was roughly 16) year of hs, (i'm 21 now!) and have indeed put on about 10 lbs since then i'm not that stick thin girl anymore so i've managed to purchase about 4 outfits (womens clothes are so expensive :c even with a discount!) I can imagine he's purchasing things he likes sometimes too!
I don't know. I'm all for being equal in the household, but unfortunately, i cant be on the lease so for any LEGAL purposes i don't in fact have a home (which sucks) i want to be just as legally tied as he is.
(OH GOD BEFORE ANYONE SAYS "that doesn't mean you don't pay half") :) i am holding up are "deal" and also that "deal" included that once his family stopped footing his bill, we'd both pay 50/50 (everything!) :)!!!