Sorry to jump back in like this with something only kinda relevant, but as a heterosexual white guy I always found that people wanted to put me into a box whenever I showed anything good about me. Like people always tried to write off my academic ability as me being what they call in my town a 'swot' which means someone who studies all the time at the expense of a social life, when actually I studied very little and was quite apathetic about school in general. Another one I always faced was people trying to say I must be gay whenever I was thoughtful and considerate, didn't treat girls like objects or I expressed emotions, or even chose not to be angry about things and try to talk things through.
In fact I was a late arriver at school and the very first day I was asked, "What are you?" I responded with, "A human?" and then my classmate went on to ask me what kind of music I liked and explain the different groups before deciding I was the kind who liked a bit of everything, or as she called it, a trendy. That was a common theme throughout my school experience but I never was able to understand it.
To get back on point, I feel as if this is one of the biggest problems in society. There's no respect for the individual and their decisions, abilities or efforts. I can only imagine what it would be like to have my efforts written off on account of my race, as I've not experienced that, but I've definitely seen it. It's all linked together. Race, gender and sexuality stereotypes seem to be linked to this need to diminish the individual and their efforts and put them in some kind of box. I hope I haven't made a faux pas here as a lot of this is all new to me but I agree that these conversations need to happen.
I've only recently stepped over from the other side of social justice, where it just seems like a big, whiny waste of time and miscommunication stops any kind of conversation, and what I think is that there needs to be more cohesion. For me, I saw a feminist discussion about pornography and it led me to start thinking about what it must be like to be a woman in this society and then something just activated in me and I started thinking about races and sexual orientations, but up until now I've really not been able to see how the issues linked together.
Just getting this off my chest. Not sure I really have a point other than to say there's one more person reading about these issues and rooting for society to become better. Also I'm sorry to hear that you are affected in any way by fetishization and stereotypes. I know that doesn't help but I just want to say it. Blah.