Just chiming in in support of you. This pattern is very familiar to me actually. There are certain personality disorders that prey upon their loved ones at the most precious moments - Easter, birthdays, vacations- any time that is something you are counting on to provide happiness. Their are subs to view which may make it more clear what you are dealing with : r/NarcissisticAbuse or r/BPDlovedones may allow you to further pinpoint what you are dealing with - but this pattern - of kicking all the pretty (metaphorical ) flowers and destroying the day for you and your child, goes hand in hand with these personalities.

You are a wonderful mother. But it’s very hard not to be affected by the gaslighting- his telling you you are not.

I hope you can come to the conclusion that you deserve better. I am trying to give you the advice that I never took, but maybe would have had I had the support in place that I needed. Sending hugs to you. You knew to post this, so you are definitely ready for the next step.