I've been waiting to tell this story for a long time, and I digress it is a long one. See my childhood was weird, my father died in 99' probably sometime in August, and on the last day of the year, i remember playing UO by myself, sitting in a house at minoc gate, a villa, writing in a book saying how sad it was to leave him behind as he didn't make it to the year 2000. And how I was more or less experiencing survival guilt. It was a test realm, and i ran around with a dp'd pitch fork, trying to remember the good-ole times of 98-99' catskills, Goku of Yew, Ken of Yew, and Onslaught, all guildies before I slipped up, and left catskills before. Zero_the_warrior slain and removed from his guild for Pk-ing (didn't even know about it since I was a renaissance baby. I had about 40 kills, I was excited about that. The PvP helped me, sustained me, while I was going through a really troubling time in my life. And that was when I decided for sure, I was going to leave a book on a test shard in UO, for the ages. The 20 page book was a long drawn out confessional of a life very confused by a lot of things. Even more so confused about how I was able to keep my sanity while still having huge anger spouts in real life. How I was doing really well in school without a mean drunk father... Dr.Jekyll;mr.Hide. I really hated him then, as I've grown up, I've learned much, some days I really wish I'd hear his car roll down the road. Hell, to be honest, I don't even know if he would like what I have become. I was maybe at best in fifth grade. Told I was going to prepatory as my father's father did; since my father never got an education after highschool. I ended up dropping out, of prep school, and ended up at about 450lbs in my 10th grade year. I dropped out in 11th.
It took a few years of soul searching... Takes a lot to talk about, but someone finally asked. Spent a lot of years playing WoW and meeting people, I hardly talk to anymore, I've ditched most of my highschool friends in the drop out. I do have a few good friendships left from my 'real' life. But that time to me was sacred. I spent time reading, and studying, and reading and studying, for what --- who cares? Wikipedia lurking, and reading, I took to walking, and got my first job, a Deli boy!
... Yeah, life took me for a ride, and I'm still going, head held high. 99' was a pretty bad year. I spent most of that night in particular crying my eyes out over that. I guess in trying to cope with a life that should have been. for a fifth grader, that's a pretty tall order. I had dreams of being a computer engineer, even to this day, I struggle to that end, I study, and read, and study and read. Really hope to be the person that kid wanted to be.
Sorry if that's not what you were expecting but, that felt really good to get that off my chest.