How did your parents fuck you up?

How about how they fucked up my siblings and how I just watched it all because im the youngest? I have 2 brothers and 1 sister.

Brother #1, the oldest, was our alcoholic abusive fathers favorite child. He was the high school football star in Alaska were we grew up. He went away to a college he got into thanks to football, little did we know he wasn't doing anything there and would just end up moving back and sleeping in our living room todo drugs and cause trouble. But now he is gone, He moved back to where it all started in Alaska like the piece of shit he is.

Brother #2, My favorite sibling and role model got the worst of it all. Constant physical abuse from a man twice his size for no reason. I think this lead to him working out a lot to get stronger later in life, But must have given him a strong sense of justice. He got to see a lot of cops come into his life that never helped at all, they would just accept the lies that us children had to tell them and never looked back. Now in life he is doing great and on his way to becoming a police officer himself.

My Sister is the easiest for me to read. I have seen home movies of our dad calling her a unwanted bitch when she was like 5. She didn't get beaten a lot but still got spanked for the littlest of things just like myself. Its obvious how her father not giving her any love has effected her, Shes was a slut, she got herself a ton of pets that unconditionally love her, and is just a very unstable person. I remember we were playing around once on the couch. She started to balanced on the armrest and I pushed her, Not off the couch, onto the god dam cushions. (also keep in mind she is 5 years older than me) She cried and ran to tell on me to our dad, WHY THE FUCK WOULD SHE DO THAT, SHE FUCKING KNOWS WHAT WOULD HAPPEN?! But I wasn't the only one that got spanked a ton that night, she did also for no apparent reason.

Now I guess I'll do myself since im on a roll. I remember the cruel punishment of going out in the backyard and picking the stick I will get beat with, and if the stick I chose wasn't thick enough I would get hit with it anyway and have to go find a better one. Everyone always seemed to be caught up in the football both my brothers played, they were both in high school while I was in late elementary school. I remember the whole family flying to another town for a football game EXCEPT me, I stayed at home in a trailer park for 2 days by myself in 4th grade. I was scared and cried most the time~ Brother #2 was always nice to me and let me play his video games, but brother #1 was terrible. I would over hear my dad give him a few chores to do, and then after my dad left he would hit me and make me do them. Over time I learned to go unnoticed, I would just stay in my room not really coming out, and if someone would come down the hall I would hide in the closet till they left. I knew people at school that I would play with but I never actually connected with any of them, School was just a place I had to go everyday and I felt like I had to at least pretend to socialize in order to blend in. I guess friends for me were just to get an excuse to leave the house.

Our home life got better when my mom got a divorce and full custody when I was in 6th grade. We struggled for awhile while my mom took care of us alone, all while having 2 jobs and putting herself through nursing school at the same time. She is amazing but I find it hard to respect her, not only was she in an abusive marriage for like 20 years but she had the fucking audacity to bring FOUR kids into that environment! She had two boys first, alright fine, then I imagine she probably wanted a girl, then comes my sister, But why the fuck have a fourth when you cant even raise the first three?! My entire existence is just her stupid fucking poor decision. Did I mention we lived in Alaska?! because I bet my whole birth was just to cash in on another fucking check (I think its called a divident, basically people in Alaska get money for living there, and parents get checks for all there kids too)

Now I'll be 22 years old in 4 days, I don't have a job, I don't go to school, I have horribly anxiety, panic attacks, And I hate almost everything and everyone. Most days I will rarely even leave my room, The only time I leave the house is once every 7 weeks to get an infusion for my severe crohns disease.

TLDR: Life sucks

/r/AskReddit Thread