How do you manage extreme emotions?

A lot of what you said resonated strongly with me. Because of my intolerance of failing and strong emotional reactions, I ended up severely depressed, doing very poorly during the first two yrs of medical school, failed a class, and did very poorly on the single exam that dictates my future. I wish I could say I'm perfect at it now, but it's still a work on progress. A few things I've taken away are:

  • not everything has to have an emotion attached to it. Try to just be NEUTRAL about everything. If In elated that I love something, well then there's the flip side where I'm severely depressed when I hate something. Now I just try to view it as things I have to do and not attach an emotion to it.

  • tangential to the first point: you're never going to feel like doing something. Lots of people would rather play instead of work and just have money handed to them, and I sure as hell would rather do something other than studying or exercising. So Ive learned that not everything you do has to be based off a desire to do it, that's just part of being an adult, so now i just try to remind myself that, suck it up, and do it. Now, things are more complicated with jobs, I guess what I mentioned is if 1) you have a longer term goal and this is necessary misery before you can get there, and 2) if you have no other options.

  • life sucks sometimes and things are hard. It's ok to fail. In fact it's essentially inevitable. What's more important is how you handle the situation and whether you're able to pick yourself back up and move on.

  • you aren't the only person struggling. Because I had the false belief that everyone was cruising and I was the only person who struggled, I planted a seed in my head that I was dumb, a big failure, and sucked. Realizing that everyone else struggles too at squash or whatever made me realize I was NORMAL, not a big dumb fuck up.

Besides that, I highly recommend looking at this. It teaches you to recognize faulty logic such as "I'm a failure" etc and teaches you how to think about things in a more of an objective way. This has revolutionized the way I view and handle things, and I highly recommend it to EVERYONE especially people who struggle with what you mentioned above.

/r/AskWomen Thread