4 times, and I’m 32.

I met #2 in college and are still friends, #3 in grad school and I hate her guts, met #4 3 years ago and we’re going to get married soon.. however, #1 has always been a constant, reciprocated yet distanced presence my entire life since childhood.. but we moved away as kids because well, we were kids with no autonomy or means to keep in touch except hand-written letters and later emails and finally over the phone. We kept in touch but never dated because we were dating other people and weren’t staying in the same city. Now we’re even separated by countries and careers that don’t allow one of us to move to the other country.. we have time and again confessed our love for each other and meet up every time we visit the same city, which is at least once every 2 years. In the past we have discussed the possibility of a physical relationship but have both decided against it, limiting it to just a kiss once, when both of us were momentarily single but had begun living in different countries - we care for each other a lot and I sincerely want her to meet someone extraordinary, as she rightfully deserves. That being said, I have no doubt that I love my #4 (fiancé).