Thanks, I’ll look at that sub. I recently found a girl who actually liked me (the one I said liked me for 10 days). We went on 2 dates and had sex on the second. I was nervous and admittedly didn’t do a good job. When she asked me what my body count was I got insecure and said 4 instead of admitting my nervousness/inexperience. My brain instantly thought “if you admit you’ve only slept with one girl, she might think you’re unable to get girls, or she’ll think you’re a loser.”

She ghosted me 2 days later. I sent her a follow up text 2 weeks ago admitting I was dishonest and told her the truth but she didn’t respond and now it’s been 5 weeks. I keep wondering “what if i just told her beforehand i’m very inexperienced”, or “what if I just said my body count was 1”.

That’s why I want to be more honest. Hell, people don’t seem to like the guarded version of me anyway, so I may as well be myself,

I’ll definitely start with little truths. I’ll start by admitting how new to dating I am and how I’ve never had a girlfriend. I grew up quite religious which is part of the reason. The main reason is I just had low self esteem when I was younger but I wouldn’t be comfortable admitting that.

Now my body count is 2 so I suppose I can be honest about that now, since it feels less embarrassing to me.

Keeping in mind I’ll be okay if they reject me is good too. Thanks. Of course, in the moment I’ve never thought that because I auto go into defence mode, but I’ll try to be more conscious of that in the future.

The last paragraph makes a lot of sense. I grew up super insecure and uncomfortable around girls because I thought I was ugly. The first time a girl actually liked me I didn’t know how to react. She tried to make a move but I was too nervous due to my inexperience. Since we worked together I thought if we ever hook up and I’m no good the whole workplace will know I suck. So the next time she tried to make a move I told her I was kinda seeing someone. Somehow, that made her want me even more and she was extra nice to me which kinda boosted my confidence. Similarly, I tell my family that I’m Muslim; it’s literally the only reason they still ‘love’ me. So yeah, I guess I’ve had to lie to make people like me for so long I’m kinda used to it, but I really don’t like it. It’s tiring.

Thanks a lot for your comment. It’s probably the nicest and most empathetic comment I’ve ever received lol.