I'm the person with the chronic illness. Early on after diagnosis, my partner made a joke (and it was a total joke) about how he couldn't leave me now because people would think he was an asshole for leaving the "sick chick". I blew up at him and told him I was nobody's charity case and if that's the only reason he was staying with me, he could get the fuck out right now. He apologized, and never made that joke again. We've had to accommodate my illness in a lot of ways. I can't do things he wants to do. I make sure he gets to do them anyway, without resentment, without judgment without passive aggressive "must be nice". While my illness limits me, and that sucks, it shouldn't limit him from doing what he wants to do, if it's at all possible for him to do it. In return, he makes sure to plan things I can do, that are within my coping abilities and takes my needs into consideration for hikes, adventures, etc, that ARE within my ability levels. We balance. His needs and my needs as equal. It doesn't always go my way, it doesn't always go his way. But there's an equality of needs. Also, I will delete this after five minutes of posting it, just FYI.