We just had a success with our son at a little over 4 years old. We tried so many different ways.
In-laws had lots of “advice”
Here’s my (our) story:
After me feeling like I had had enough with all the input and questions from other people when he turned 4- I told everyone to let it go because nothing was helping. I defended my kiddo and let him give me some signals.
Let him/she/them be themselves and they will tell you when they don’t like diapers, or in our case being wiped. Make a plan for that moment and be watching for it.
I was ready with….The Diaper Fairy. My son was so grossed out by us wiping him that after one (the last) of those moments, I said “it’s time!” When we were done. Told him we needed to gather up all the diapers and put them on the porch. Enthusiastically- I let him know he was now ready for the diaper fairy to visit.
He was confused but totally went with it. We packed up all the “poop” diapers we could find. Put them on the porch and yelled into the night. I told him to say this: “Diaper Fairy we are ready for you! Here are your diapers. Thank you so much! I am ready to poop in the potty!”
Confused and tired we went to sleep. Magically the diaper fairy came. She swapped out my sons diapers with a handwritten note thanking us she was taking his diapers to the babies that needed them. In place of the diaper, she left him a nice gift.
The next day was a little rough, but we had four small deposits. Then one big one. That sealed the deal, no turning back and the pride he has for himself now every time is worth the wait.