I am by no means an expert but I did listen to an interesting podcast by Mr.Chazz about how ADHD is more of an executive functioning disorder than hyperactivity. Like, the ability to complete a series of tasks to transition from one activity to another. Taking care of a toddler is nothing BUT transitions and that’s what makes it hard. To go outside, you have to change diaper, get clothes on, appropriate weather clothes, pack a snack and water bottle, chase the toddler around for socks and shoes and lord help you if it’s raining and you need rain gear too. And then you have to get yourself dressed. I feel like the anxiety provides a convenient excuse but it’s really the lack of ability to transition your child that is frustrating and stopping your husband.

So, as a stranger on the internet, I recommend a visual schedule for everything. You can be upfront and say it’ll help him or you can be round about and say you read visual schedules help kids transition and it’s for your toddler. Basically, literally a picture of all the clothes or steps in a line, in the front hall, that you need to do to get out the door. Apparently making a mind movie or closing your eyes and imagining all the steps to get your child out the door helps a lot for following through.

You can also make a visual schedule of the afternoon or he can make it. Nap, snack, outside, tv time, dinner. I would try to remove the pressure to do chores. A nanny or teacher is expected to be taking care of your child as that is a full time job! Fit in chores later for a bit. Reduce the transitions as much as possible. Make the snack in a lunch box for your husband to literally take out of the fridge.

Sometimes having somewhere to be helps the motivation to leave. Part of executive functioning is motivation. Like library time or gymnastics class. Or a dad’s play date. But that might be too much. Start with helping him get out the door and look into other strategies to help HIM transition from one activity to another.