How would your ex describe you?

Ex 2 messaged Ex 1 to ask what she should know about me. For clarification Ex 1 came before Ex 2. When Ex 2 broke up with me she emailed me the messages as a way of proving how much of a bastard I am. I'll omit any unnecessary chatter. Also, I fixed some of the grammar issues to avoid confusion.

Ex 2- What should I know about Holybatbatman?

Ex 1- Uhhhmmmm... idk what to say?

Ex 2- Why did you break up with him?

Ex 1- This is weird but ya he's fucking mental so i'll try. Holybatbatman won't buy you flowers because he thinks that they are a marketing scam. He got me a first aid kit for my car on Valentines Day!?

Ex 2- Ya thats annoying...

Ex 1- Thatts just the start. He refused to pray in front of my family because it was "against his belief system." He won't wear brand names, or shop at the mall. He exercises too much. He watches too many old movies.

(In my defense she is talking about my love for Tarantino.)

Ex 2- Ya that doesn't sound too bad.

Ex 1- Not at first, but it stacks up. There's more anyway. He won't dance, he won't dress up for anything, he doesn't like any normal food, he reads too much, he doesn't like receiving oral, he won't talk about his childhood, he loves Pugs... ETC.

Ex 2- Jeeze. Why is it bad that he loves pugs lol

Ex 1- Only fags like small dogs. He's totally in the closet.

Ex 2- Uhm okay. Is that it?

Ex 1- Holybatbatman fought my dad on Christmas. Like a fucking fist fight.

Ex 2- What?!?

Ex 1- It's a long fucking story. Basically Holybatbatman refused to go to church and my Dad slapped him.

(Total BS by the way.)

Ex 2- That does sound like him...

Ex 1- right? Another thing is that he refused to walk at graduation because of his "anxiety." Oh and that reminds me. He has NO FAMILY.

Ex 2- I thought he just didn't like talking about them?

Ex 1- Nope, he grew up in the foster system. Which is why he is so damn stingy.

Ex 2- Ah gross. Like he was an orphan?

Ex 1- Ya, and he decided to not tell you, or me. My cousin told me because he had a friend that was in the same group home.

Ex 2- Thats creeeppppyyyy......

Ex 1- Ya. it. is.

Ex 2- Is that it

Ex 1- not really but ya I have to go to sleep for work.

They ended up talking a few more times. Nothing really worthy of noting on Reddit.

/r/AskReddit Thread