If you want to try, I would recommend couple's counseling. I suggest this because you seem very unsure of what to do and where everything stands. If you want to do that, try picking a time when he has recently gaslit you. Play along and say something along the lines of "Well I feel like I'm not being accommodating enough of you" or some other lie like that and offer up couples counseling as a way to help "make you a better partner" to him. You probably won't succeed by asking honestly, you have to appeal to his ego.

Counseling will allow a professional to either mend the relationship or help you leave. My ideal recommendation would be to get out right now, but I understand that is not always an easy choice.