Not taking my cousin up on moving in with her across the country when i was in middle school. Up until then, i was raised by mom with whom i was homeless and abused. I was taken away from her in 4th grade and for some reason, perhaps the government assistance i’d qualify him for, my dad who hadn’t acknowledged me until then took me and neglected me and malnourished me more than I had been eating out of trashcans with my mom. I didnt know i had any say in my life because of my submissive upbringing; i wasn’t even considered a citizen until later because my mom and i werent from here and my dad never filed my papers, so my mom always made me fearful of the government growing up and i was taught i didnt have rights to medical care and other things. i thought my cousin was just being courteous saying i could come stay with her. I also had nothing but abusive friends and they made me think if i ever crossed them, they’d just about kill me, and my cousin had a son a few years older than me who didnt get along with her, and i thought he might be enraged by me imposing myself and taking his place because that was the only behavior i knew of other kids. I only met my cousin twice but she was the kindest person to me i’d ever met. And i never even had the courage to call her on my own volition because i always felt i was an unwelcome presence and that people dreaded me taking up their time, even if they acted kind to me in person. She killed herself a couple years later. I think we could have saved each other. I hear a lot of people say that you shouldn’t rely on others for happiness, but in my experience they have people who love them without condition already.