I am so sorry you had to go through that no person should have to be dealing with all those things especially at once. I am glad that at least one person here can understand what I was trying to say. I realize most people were going to downvote my comment but I honestly don’t care. Reading this post had me hurting in a way most people don’t understand.

I unfortunately have to deal with the weight on my conscience knowing that someone I deeply loved lost their life because of something stupid I did, and I’m not going to defend it you know. I know I fucked up, I KNOW I did. But I can’t change it.

     I have dealt with people in my life calling me a murderer, people who pretend to be supportive to you but then gossip to their new friends about your situation. I literally stayed in my room isolating for a month, barely left my room for anything. I remember being at home healing from my injuries and I couldn’t even pick up my phone without instantly crying because for a few weeks because it was all over social media in my area. 

Everyone I knew was talking about it and making posts about me and it felt like a never ending nightmare I couldn’t wake up from. It completely changed my life. Reading this post hurt me because what a lot of people don’t understand is that a-lot(definitely not all) of these DUI accidents are exactly that, accidents, As we both said in our comments it’s not excusable at all. But how is this on the same level and kidnapping a person and killing/ torturing them, all it takes is a lapse of judgement and someone can lose their life as opposed to actually wanting to hurt someone.

      I’m barely 21 years old and I have to deal with things most people my age can’t even fathom. This happened when I was still underage, not trynna be too specific with my situation but take into account that ANY ALCOHOL in your system even a 0.1 is an automatic DUI. Even if it’s not impairment. Would I even do something like this again, fuck no. Sometimes I think back and realize that I could have died instead, or we both could have died. I used to think that I deserved it. 


    But as I said I am trying to be kind to myself and I know in my heart that I would have never hurt this person intentionally. That I am deserving of love. That I am deserving of happiness. I’m really not feeling that happiness right now but maybe someday. I know I will/ am growing from this. 

I hope that you know you are deserving of that too. You have dealt with a lot of things in your life from what your telling me