What am I doing wrong?

Starting to give up all hope at such a young age. There is so much time ahead of you. Plus you're an adult now and most of this stuff is generally better as an adult. I regret like 95% of my pre-21 romantic experiences. But 21 is quite young. You've got plenty of time to work on it. Giving up now when you have all this time to try and try and try again would just trap you in a self-fulfilling prophecy where you believe it will probably never happen so you don't bother trying which guarantees it never actually happens.

I feel like you might be idealizing being in a relationship because you're assuming being in one is better than being single. How many people have stories about abusive relationships? How many people end up divorced with tons of baggage they'll carry around for most of their lives? How many people end up with kids they didn't really want? And this is r/twoXchromosomes, we all know how awful men can be to women, assuming you are a woman. I'm not trying to make love sound horrible but I also want to remind you that being in a relationship can be worse than being single. Would you rather have been in a shitty relationship just so you can say you were in one? Would you rather have made out with a bad kisser than to not have been kissed?

TL;DR Don't give up so soon. There's still way more than enough time to work toward these things. Relationships aren't always great. Kissing isn't always great.