Go on psychology today, and look up trauma psychologists.

Killing yourself seems rational because it seems like the easiest option to end your pain. However, it's a false security.

Your pain is like a fertilizer that will grow a beautiful flower. Seems crazy, but it will. The first step is getting help.

First of all, try writing down all of the things that are bothering you. Everything. The homelessness, struggle of maintaining a job, etc.

Then search up someone to talk to. Go see them. Just do it. Give it a chance. Tell them what's going on. Let them know you need help.

You can try to dance around the suicidal ideation by saying you're having a very tough time. Tell them your list of struggles. Mourn. Cry. And then find suggestions. Take action.

You will make it through this. Youre going to get better and you're going to thrive. Right now it seems impossible, but it won't always be. You're going to make it through this and look back one day and be proud of doing it.