I’m a happily childfree woman in a happy childfree marriage. I am not sure other people read the whole thing, I did.

I cannot imagine a person writing a more reasonable and fair representation of their marital strife than you did. Hats off, you did very well. Unfortunately, that probably means you really love her. And you’re a good person. That’s going to make this next part difficult.

She’s very in the wrong here. Based on the responses and the times these responses took place, there is no way she didn’t at least suspect she didn’t want children. She owed you the duty you did her to treat this seriously, to put herself in your shoes and decide what the morally right way to broach this was.

You might ask, why does it matter if anyone is in the wrong? Because it’s hurtful. Because that implies a very intentional hurt. This is something you want and it’s something that has a time constraint. Granted, less of one as a man, but considering all that will have to happen between this point and having a kid with someone else, you could easily be about 40. At that point, you may well be limited in terms of partners close to your own age. I feel like she stole your life from you. I’m upset on your behalf, a complete stranger. You should be a little upset on your own, too, though I imagine you will with time.

Your love for her will curdle like old milk in this scenario with never having children. My recommendation- take a week and go somewhere without your friends or your wife. Take some time to really think about what you want. You have less than you think.