Big changes take time. Getting to know yourself and your needs takes time.

All I can say is be as kind to yourself as you can. No one expects a painting novice to be Picasso, or a physics student to be Einstein. On top of that, Picasso and Einstein weren't born being experts. It was difficult for them to get to where they were. It took practice. Thinking differently takes practice too.

With that said, I realize how that sounds right now. I still sometimes find myself mired in a fog I can't describe, where I only have a vague idea of the direction I want to go, and no idea of why I'm even trying to get there in the first place.

One thing that helps me is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy techniques. The more I get into the habit of being aware of what is in my head and which general direction I need to move towards, the more I'm able to get ahold of myself and move, even though I'm still very much in the fog.

And the more I find that the fog passes eventually each time it does come.

This site might help: http://self-compassion.org/. And if you Google ACT, there might be even more pages that can help you until you can get to a therapist.

Hang in there bro :)