It’s not you. It’s that manager. Let me explain. And sorry in advance for the rant but I think it’s very important information.

Good managers understand that being invested in their employee’s development is essential for their own success, and the success of the business (no matter in what field or industry, this remains true). Good managers also understand that taking time to train and develop their employees will mean more productivity and fewer headaches in the long-term. Good managers would welcome more questions from their employees with open arms because they will know that you want to actually learn and apply that knowledge to the best of your abilities (why would any manager want to punish employees who wants to do their job well?). Asking questions will also tell them that you are also invested in THEIR career success and the success of the business because you are seeking to better yourself (were every other employee wouldn’t care less to ask questions because they just want to clock in, clock out and get paid).

*It should also be noted that there is a degree to which a question you ask is deemed appropriate. For example, if you get hired as a secretary and you ask, “what’s a computer and how do I use it?” That would take too much time to teach among all the other things that must be taught and a manager could find someone who knew how to use a computer. A flawed example I know, but it illustrates that basic competencies cannot be over looked but developed elsewhere. I digress …

Good managers actually fear employees who don’t ask for help because they could continue to make the same mistakes when a simple explanation could fix it (which also puts the responsibility on managers to create a save environment for employees can ask questions and not be ridiculed for it). And if you are known to ask questions when you need to then they will feel safe when you don’t. Good managers will take the time to explain things, and quite frankly if a manager couldn’t explain something in a concise and/or understandable way, I would seriously doubt that they even know what they are doing or even care about their job or the success of the business.

It’s like going to the doctors and being told that you have a cold, sure they may be able tell you what a cold is, but if they can’t tell you specifically how to treat it then I would seriously doubt this doctors ability to provide me with adequate care regarding cold treatment. In fact, a responsible doctor would refer you to someone who specializes in colds (a simplistic Anecdote I know but it’s to illustrate a point). If your manager was responsible, he should have referred you to someone who actually cared about employee development and whom you could actually learn from, but to do that is for him to admit his own deficiencies as a manager. But in order to self-preserve his own sense of self-esteem and efficacy, he did the cowardly thing and blamed you. He pushed all of his own inadequacies on you and for that I am truly sorry. Furthermore, the fact that IF a manager spends time and resources to find you, hire you, and then let you go because of their own deficiencies as a manager, then they are costing the business a lot of money and time, which could have been better spend elsewhere. They should be fired.

We may have ADHD but that does not mean we are incompetent. Good competent individuals are wasted on poor managers. And for competent people believe that they suck at their job, who start to believe that they are incompetent and give up trying is something I can’t stand because the enemy of the good is the bad. It is the bad managers who make good employees feel, think and believe that they are themselves bad, is in my opinion reprehensible and I refuse to let the enemy of the good prevail. If these shitty managers have full control of their cognitive faculties but choose to remain a shitty manager, then I find that incredible insulting to anyone with ADHD, because I can tell you that if we had the choice to have full control of our cognitive faculties (without medication), most of us, if not all of us would not waste it by choosing to remain a shitty manager let alone tell others they suck at there job because we refuse to learn how to communicate better. FUCK. THAT.

For us with ADHD it is ESSENTIAL for us to find GOOD managers. Not perfectly good managers, as there is no such thing. But you can find the best from what you have by asking questions during the interview process about how they teach and instruct their new employees, and tell them that this question is important to you because one day you wish to have their job. Now if they take this badly and feel threatened, it’s likely to be that they know that they can’t or perhaps don’t want to move any higher up in the company. So when the higher ups see that someone is more competent and willing to take on more responsibility, the manager will lose their job or be demoted, and you will take their job. A good manager would respond well to this because they will have someone that they could trust to take over their position when they get promoted. A promotion due to the contributions of your amazing work, which is also reflected well on them enough to deserve a promotion.

My Golden Rule: Don’t accept criticism from those who are not invested in your development, consider it sure but don’t accept is as fact. Only accept criticism from those who are truly invested in your development and who want to see you to succeed.

In my experience it is almost always managers that causes the problems for employees as in the examples mentioned above. Sorry again for the rant, I hope this helps.

TLD; what shitty managers don’t want you to know.