I only get sometimes good highs when my life has Maslows basic needs met in a satisfactory way. It’s been over a year since that was the case. So now I’m just in a mixed state and/or rapid cycling nightmare where my highs are bad except for the duration of accomplished self care, and maybe a couple of hours after. So I haven’t really gotten out of it. My previous psychiatrist very quickly diagnosed me as BP2, my current one says bipolar spectrum. I’m in a state, but starting med trials again after giving up a few years ago with a bad anti depressant experience. I know I’ll lose the variety of emotions I sometimes enjoy. But I also can’t survive like this. So, yeah...