Except people forget you cant decide if something is racist, and even if you "arent racist" that doesn't mean what you did wasnt dumb or insensitive whether intentional or not.

Problem is when people bring up racism they tend to imply hating, being intolerant, not thinking they are equal etc.

Both can still be racist, or racist actions.

The problem with people who say they arent racist, is before they say it, or after they say a bunch of racist stuff and won't admit or understand how its racist.

So yeah you are right. It is slippery slope, but intent does matter. If you apologise immediately, don't defend yourself and agree what you did was a racist act?

Well guess what, you're not saying you arent racist. But I'll say it, because you demonstrated perfectly what you should do vs what you shouldn't.