When I was drinking I felt guilt and shame about all sorts of my different behaviours, then I'd use so I didn't feel that guilt and shame. Then I'd feel guilty and ashamed of my using, plus I'd feel anxious so I'd use again to stop those feelings, but then I'd just feel guilty and ashamed again... And even more anxious. That cycle went on and got worse for years.

It wasn't until I stopped drinking that my present became clearer, I stopped having to worry about what I'd done or what was going to happen tomorrow... I only have to worry about today. I don't always make the best sober choices, but I don't have to deal with the anxiety, guilt and shame that gets added on top of any poor choices I do make.