Hey. Read your post and have no judgements toward you. I am glad you weren't charged because you did nothing wrong. Honestly, I really feel none of this was your fault and you could have done nothing to prevent this. I am sorry you lost your former friends. I can't imagine how painful it must have been for you to go through that. I can see how you would feel used and distrust women because of this experience. I can also see how group therapy would be intimidating.

Has your psych said anything about helping you slowly regain your trust in people? I was thinking maybe you could try to rebuild your trust in people in a similar way to rape survivors who have lost their trust (sorry if this offends anyone)? I can see how this accusation has deeply upset you. Are the "thoughts" that you feel are "preventing you from having the life you want" centered around losing your trust in people? Perhaps it might help if I could affirm you by saying you are still the same 'you' before this whole ordeal even though your external surroundings have changed.

One of the other thoughts I have is that it seems fair to me you need time to rebuild your level of trust in people. I really feel I would have to go through the same thing if I were in your shoes. So I guess I think it's okay if you are a little more jaded and a little harder to be around right now. You deserve time to rebuild your trust. If I may (sorry if this comes across as offensive to anyone) I wouldn't expect an assault victim to automatically rebound out of an assault and this should be no different because it was traumatic for you.

Are you currently in a place where you are cared for like your parent's house? A lot of people are out of the job right now. Perhaps affirming that might lessen any bad feelings around that?

I hope this comes across as supportive. I'm not a therapist nor am I trained. I just wanted to try and be helpful.