Here is what helped ME (careful, I can see why this maybe helps no one but me):

Realize, that you, and only you, are to blame for your situation. No one really cares about you. Everyone will forget you in 100 years.

It is your life and it is shitty. Nobody will help you, because nobody cares for you.

So do what you want, nobody cares. If you want to get your life back on track, fine, I won‘t stop you, no one will or could.

You alone can save yourself, so here are the two options: 1) Save yourself, realize that it all IS your fault. (Hard way)

2) Go on living in despair, close to suicide, sit alone in a dark room, masturbating, thinking about how bad everything is, thinking about who is to blame for your situation, that you are so unlucky, and so on and so on. (Easy way)

Do what you want, man up or don‘t.

And besides that: Killing yourself IS COWARDLY AS FUCK. If you take the easy way, at least stand up and live the shitty life you built yourself.