DEAR ALL /r/CFB readers, we have an issue that must be faced. We have an AXIS OF EVIL EMPIRES issue to be resolved. If you would be so kind and MOVE THE FUCK AWAY SO I CAN GET THIS UNDERWAY.
DEAR Texas Ball
The AXIS OF EVIL EMPIRES have found you guilty of ruining the reputation of the AXIS OF EVIL EMPIRES.
WE HAVE WITNESSED PEOPLE ACTUALLY FEELING SORRY FOR YOU. WE HAVE WITNESSED PEOPLE PITYING YOU. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU.
YOU NEED TO STEP UP, MAN UP, AND WAKE THE FUCK UP.
I HEREBY CHARGE YOU WITH 1 COUNT OF PITY, 1 COUNT OF FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, 3 COUNTS OF "PLAYING SO SHITTY, IT'S ACTUALLY EMBARASSING".
As we, Ohio State Ball, are the current head of the AXIS OF EVIL EMPIRES we name judgement over you.
Texas Ball we sentence you to the lowest level that we have, Cumberland .
Where you will face Oklahoma Ball and get shit on 223-0. You will be worse than Cumberland.
You will perform so bad that the state of Texas will raze itself to the ground, The State of Texas will support Baylor Ball, The Cowboys will disown you, and you will be ranked lower than ... Iowa State Ball.
(I would say Kansas Ball but, it's fucking Kansas Ball LOL)
You will be considered so bad that what Michigan Ball went through in the past 10 years or so since they got shit on by Appalachian State Ball would be considered a dream compared to what the AXIS OF EVIL EMPIRES will do for your terrible play.
Oklahoma Ball, as the apointed executioner against Texas Ball this week we will need you to step forward and provide a whooping of epic proportions.
What do you say?
Texas Ball, you have sullied our name. You have blemished our unblemishable reputation of evil and badassary and for that I punish you to the ground.
I put forth the vote to remove Texas Ball from the AXIS OF EVIL EMPIRES from this day forward until they prove their worth and once again belong at our table instead of on the street begging for food.
VOTE BELOW:
| School | Vote |
|---|---|
| Alabama Ball | Blank |
| Notre Dame Ball | Blank |
| Oklahoma Ball | Blank |
| Michigan Ball | Blank |
| USC Ball | Blank |
| Nebraska Ball | Blank |
| Penn State Ball | Blank |
PS: MARYLAND YOU SUCK AND YOU WILL LOSE
PPS: I DIDN'T MEAN TO EXCLUDE YOU MARYLAND BUT AXIS OF EVIL EMPIRES DECISIONS ARE MORE IMPORTANT
If you are not listed and would like to put your name in for support of this proposition, we will not care and we will not include your vote. We are the AXIS OF EVIL EMPIRES. WE EMBRASE YOUR HATERED.