yes, i knew the second i met him. we shook hands my first day on the job and i thought to myself, "uh oh."

i texted my best friend about it, she was like, it's a crush, calm down, blah blah. i sat on it for a couple years until i had the courage to tell him. i planned a night at a concert, just me and him, i psyched myself up to either lose his friendship forever and completely fucking embarrass myself or throw my whole life into the wind; my 12 year relationship, my friends, i would've run into the woods with him and never looked back. as i was rushing out the door that night my husband decided he wanted to join. we all met up, i was awkward obviously but sort of realized i didn't have the guts to do it any way. the next day a girl found him online and said she saw him at the show and couldn't stop thinking about him. they're still together.

it's been 5 years and we're all close friends now. me, my husband, him and his gf. i love my husband, i do, but i always have this thought in my head about growing old with this other guy. as we've gotten to know each other better the crippling obsession has waned (i fucking bawled after meeting his new girlfriend) but the feeling is still there. we're linked. while i'd never to do anything to jeopardize my relationship with my partner, nothing lasts forever. i can wait.