Many people have idealized Sociopathy as a form of Adaptive Machiavellianism. It is by definition not adaptive. Manipulation isn't something we should idolize. It's a perverse and inescapable social reality. You are, in fact, here to gather information for exactly this purpose. What else can you do? Argue with the idiot on his level again and lose to his experience? You want for something better than this. You failed to achieve your desired effect within his awareness. That's what drove you here. I admire your shrewd application of exactly those things you hope to render unnecessary. You should read the wikipedia article on Projective Identification [0]. It will help you understand the game you're being forced to play.
The worship of dark (deceptive) manipulation can become a self-reinforcing delusion. A person needs to believe they can be free from it before they can realize they don't need it. Social Reality manipulates us continuously. Largely against our interests. Frankly your husband sounds like he's a Narcissist. A real sociopath is pathologically egotistical for different reasons. They're so utterly aware of social norms that their egos implode. Their divergent awareness of right & wrong ultimately re-converges as an internal controversy which invalidates all morality. This is utterly unsatisfactory. The totality of unmediated freedom is terrorizing. It's similar to Dunning Kruger. The more you know, the more you know that you don't know. The more right and wrong is just whatever you can get people to agree to. Everyone wants for those things that can stand in the war-zone that shared awareness truly is. Human beings have an innate need to delineate good & bad; Independently and in their relationships. We've lived a long time as these warmongers. The continued failure to satisfy this impulse has all sorts of nasty consequences. You seem to have an intuitive understanding of this. You truly want for something better. Generations of people died refining the motivations you're operating from. You're right to fight for them. You need to show your husband why it's so much better and that he's merely keeping himself from all it could be.