I guess I need more details on what he did that was rude? You said he had a rude tone when you woke him up but I've never met someone who is friendly immediately upon being woken from slumber. It takes people a moment. So I don't think it was reasonable to tell him to go home for being rude when he was still in the process of waking up. Unless I'm missing something you were definitely the rude one there.

Also there may have been a more constructive way to have had the talk with him both times. On the last date that you planned did you actually say "since I planned this date will you please plan the next one?" And then give him time that you are available? Or did you just assume he would know what your expectations are? And you're always going to have to make some decisions at home. I know you don't want to make ever single one, but assuming you want an equal partnership....that's part of the deal. Plenty of people have jobs with a lot of responsibility but that doesn't excuse them from having to do it in relationship. You said that he is happy to sit on the couch and watch TV so it makes sense that he wanted your opinion on where to go since it's not his thing as much as it is yours. I think his current response is very appropriate. I would also need space and time.

And if you are tired of taking him out and planning dates then stop. If you want to go on dates with him then yeah, you should plan him because he doesn't mind staying in, obviously. He's doing it for you. Don't do something for someone and then tell him you don't like doing it. Either give it freely or not at all. He doesn't sound like the type of person who values planned dates. I get it. I don't valid then either. At all. I think that's pretty normal. If you want to be taken out on a regular basis it may be in his best interest to reconsider the relationship.