i think their concern is (if it isnt going past your radar already) that some of these OCD and controlling behaviors may be turned on you.

i suggest this because i was just recently in this situation, it ended after 6 months. they were all quirks that fit anxiety/OCD symptoms until life happened and it was clear it was more like 'real personality disorder' territory. all the management strategies in the world don't matter if the meds are off (or not taken), the therapist is booked, life hands a big defeat, etc.

i guess my advice would, be to offer / ask to go to counseling with her. i think there were 100000x more anxieties she had that i had no clue about and having a forum to discuss them probably would've helped. but, again,that is tenuous because what if that week or two where she can't manage her mental health she goes and fucks an ex, etc.

again not everyone does that, but you should at least start making yourself comfortable with the fact that, four months in, she is still very much hiding the realities of her mental health situation to you.