Maybe unhealthy when stated as bluntly as this. But my exes did the same for me AND they don't exist - as is, they have no factor in my life or that of my family other than a neutral memory. Okay can be good and bad memories, but it's not delved into that much..

I don't feel like she prefers her previous experiences and, while she could leave for anyone, I do not believe for this person.

The family on the other hand, yes will always give this person my place and keep this person alive in our reality together.

And that is genuinely my feeling. I don't know how to "deal" with that anymore because that is what I believe is appropriate and fundamentally fair.

Yes, absolutely, I read and consider and hear the backlash. But you know, tell me why my opinion even if not the majority does not deserve to be valid? And in certain cases, trump another opinion because it means SO and I are part of the family and able to have a relationship with the family. Isn't there anything more important, any consideration at all, more important than this ex?