OP, this post made me so sad :( It's reminding me so much of my experiences. The way you go into so much depth trying to explain/justify WHY you need notice, when it's really just a no-brainer non-issue that most people wouldn't question in any capacity... It shines a lot of light on the way that you doubt and question your needs because of the way your husband treats you.
I was with someone who was exactly the same way, who thought that a shitty non-sincere "I'm sorry" meant that he was exempt from needing to discuss things, and no matter how gently and calmly I tried to approach things, he was always shitty and dismissive. He, too, could not grasp that I didn't want to fight, I didn't want to talk about his bad behaviour to make him feel bad, I wanted to talk about it because it was hurtful to me, I wanted to understand him, and I wanted to fix it!
Someone who is behaving this way at 33 years old is not going to change. I'm sorry, OP. This post makes me so, so sad. You have a child together, and there is NO way this is going to be easy. Those seven things you listed at the end of your post are completely, thoroughly valid, YOU ARE ENTIRELY IN THE RIGHT, and in a healthy relationship if you had even ONE of those seven things bothering you, your partner would feel awful about it and fix the situation rather than ignoring you, let alone all seven of those things!!
You should not be here asking how you could've handled things better because he's super angry with you. That is so messed up. He is emotionally abusing you. I know it's incredibly difficult, I can't even begin to imagine - it was hard enough for me to leave my SO of 2.5yrs that I had lived with for ages and had entangled finances (including auto loan) with. I can't imagine the difficulty you will face, having a child and all. But let me tell you... When I finally initiated my break up, I thought I was going to be devestated. I was so numb, broken, and nervous. But you know what? That first night, when my asshole ex was finally gone from our apartment and I was completely alone knowing I would never see him again... I did cry. But it was pure relief. Everything felt SO much better in that moment.
I've since moved on, and am seeing someone new, and I no longer have to spend hours on end obsessing over this stuff the way you are. It is such a huge relief. I still have moments where I'm scared to be bothered by things, and I'm always shocked by the way my current BF handles things in such a way that shows he genuinely cares about my feelings and isn't pissed off that I'm having them.
I wish you the best of luck. I am here if you need to talk.