Chances are if he'd married someone without ADHD, they would probably also want to plan vacations ahead of time and have dinner at a set time, that's what most people do regardless of children.

We have been either living together for 8 years (me 24/him 26 - married for 7) and were together for a year before that, so I met him when I was 23. When I was 23, I was already doing crock pot/planning ahead for the week meals (chicken, rice, veggies usually), coupon-cutting, etc, and I guess I always felt I was the weird one. None of our friends were like me; many of our friends were like him. Most of our friends who got married had kids, and many of our single (this-age) friends are still like him. I guess I just thought I was the weird one.

And yes, his childhood had very rigid planning. His mom has OCD which was apparently pretty severe when he was a kid and everything was planned. Everything had a time. School lunches were always exactly the same, with the components in exactly the same place in the lunchbox. If he asked for something new, Mom said he had to wait a month for her to change it because it was unsafe otherwise. Things like that. (His Mom is very nice. She's been treated now and is more normal - still a little anxious/controlling about schedules when we visited - like we were 2 minutes late for a dinner reservation once when we were down there, and she almost had a panic attack. I get nervous when we're late, so I get it, but it was extreme to me. She was a SPED teacher like me, and she didn't get better till she quit, so I feel like my husband sees his Mom in me. But I was just organized as a result of my ADHD at a younger age - I know not all 23 year olds get shit organized, but most don't need as much structure as those with ADHD who want to achieve something - I don't think I have OCD or anything.)