You know what worries me about what you said? The fact that you said you had one good weekend, all summer.

One. In three months.

Emotional abuse isn't just name calling. It's negligence, punishing you by withdrawing affection or love when you make a slight. It's you walking on eggshells, not knowing if what you're going to say or do next is going to make him upset or stop talking to you. It's making fun of you, undermining your intelligence, you capability as a mother, not just to you but casually to the people around you. It's making flippant comments that make you feel worthless - "why would you even bother spending $100 on makeup? I bet you just want men to look at you. No one would date you before I came along. You have no idea what you're taking about. Seriously?"

You're in a box, and there's one rule. You're not allowed to touch the walls of the box. But the box gets smaller and smaller, and you get smaller because you're trying to be good. But sooner or later the box is going to get too small. The rules are stricter. It's harder not to touch the edges. You can't stay in the box forever.

I went through an abusive relationship, and I remember thinking this too. Utter relief when we had a weekend that was nice or a dinner out where he didn't explode at me, or where I didn't say something to set him off and make him moody. I felt the same as you - when it's good, it's really good, so if we can just work through the tough stuff then it'll be like this all the time, right? But relationships don't work in cycles; the bad times aren't what you sacrifice for the good. Good times is not a reward for good behaviour, and for you being the perfect partner. It should be good almost all the time, and when it's not, you work through it as a team.

Once, a friend asked me a question that stuck with me forever. Are you happy? And if you had to give a ratio of how much time you spend genuinely happy with him, and worry free, vs time you spend stressed out or confused or upset or angry, what would it be? If it's anything less than 90:10, you need to reconsider your relationship.

You DESERVE to be happy in your relationship. You don't have to earn it or be given it, it's not a reward for good behaviour. It's your right.

Besides that, do you want your kids to go through the same relationships with their SOs as you're doing now? Would you want better for them? Because you model relationships for your kids, and if you don't lead by example, they're going to fall into unhealthy relationships too. What would you tell your daughter if she was going through what you are now?

A woman goes back to unhealthy relationship patterns something like 8 times before she breaks the cycle. Don't let that be you - because you don't just have to think of yourself, you have to think of your kids too.