Here's a post I made a few months back about sex parties I've been to:
I can only share my own experiences. I hope you find this helpful. My community is fortunate to have monthly events that are sex-positive, kink-friendly, and all genders/expressions/limits/body types welcome.
Here's a summary I wrote out for a friend of mine:
Tone:
The parties I've been to have varied slightly due to the group and the energy we all have that day. It's very warm and friendly, and there's always some joking and friendly banter as well as good conversation and mingling. Everyone I've spent time with has been kind, personable, and good at taking care of themselves.
I'd say it's a casual, sexy environment that can have peak energy moments or wonderful connections. It's neither dark, nor moody. One time we had a person come who had never done anything sexual in their life before. They got all the cheers and encouragement and freedom to ask for what they wanted. It was great! Little moments like that, and the affection, fun, and full acceptance are what make me want to come back.
Involvement: You are not required to do anything at play parties.
Voyeurism is encouraged/welcome and considered participation. We have a few quiet people who might enjoy sitting on the couch and watching or cuddling, and others who like to scream and get spanked and dance around in the kitchen. The party is all about exploring what you want and only doing what you are a Hell Yes to. That could be so many things!
Goings on:
We have two hosts/space-holders for the party. We start with a Welcome Circle that involves introductions, rules, and establishing the space. We practice our Safe Sex Elevator Speech: STI tests/dates/results, types of touch you like/dislike, your relationship agreements, etc. We then transition into socializing and playing. Some folks ask for something right away, and others might just change clothes or strip down and walk around, have a snack, whatever.
We like to bring snacks and drinks to share. Mostly water, wine, or beer are around. Intoxication is not encouraged, and it's important you're always in a state to give enthusiastic consent.
Sex toys are brought by many. I usually don't bring my own because I love to sample others that I don't have already. We talk about risk aware sex, protection, cleanliness, consent, etc. All toys have to be used with condoms and cleaned thoroughly after use.
From time to time feelings can come up that need to be heard. We have dedicated volunteer "space-holders" who are eager to bear witness to whatever thoughts or memories or recollections come up for an attendee. The attendee and the witness find a private space so the attendee can receive a supportive ear away from the play. This is a core reason why I feel safe at parties. These people are loving, respectful, and truly care about what comes to the surface for you.
Types of activities I've seen:
* Kinks: flogging, spanking, impact play, sounding, breast play/pain, breast milk tasting, furries, light rope bondage.
* Pegging, PIV sex (though less than I expected when I started), oral sex, manual sex, sex with dildos, sex machines, sex with vibes, masturbation, and group sex.
* Cuddling, massage, tears and laughter, dancing, some spiritual/energy work (we have a few folks who are really into that sort of thing), puppy cuddle piles, first kisses (I got to give a man his first!), watching porn (a friend of mine was in a scene and showed it to us).
* Making out, hanging out, eating, talking, dancing.
Types of people:
* I think the max at our parties is 30.
* Again, it's is invite-only, so everyone has to be known already or vouched for by a trusted, attending person.
* Many of us know each other already through our intentional community or cuddle parties. One reason I go is because I trust my friends, and they fully accept and encourage me and whatever I want to do.
* Ages vary. We have some mid 20's, mostly of 30's & 40's, and I've seen 3 people over 60 attend.
* Races vary. Mostly right now it's mainly white, Black, Indian. I'd love more cultural diversity.
* All sizes, genders/expressions, and sexualities are welcome. We want a safe space where people can be themselves. I mainly play with women. I wish I saw more homoerotic moments between men!
* Some couples attend--mostly swinging couples, I've noticed. Some are very experienced, some aren't. I always attend solo.
* A few shy folks, lots of friends who like to hang out, and some gregarious people who want to play without stopping.
* Some folks wear pajamas, others have corsets or fetish gear or sexy clothes. I've dressed sexy-lite most of the time (like a see through top, nice bra, etc), but I often end up in my robe naked underneath when I'm just hanging around. Nakedness is awesome.
Please let me know if I can expand on anything here!