I find it concerning that a) it never seems to have occurred to your boyfriend to slightly modify his actions so that you could meet his parents (but he's fine blaming you for it not happening); and b) that when you're asking for a simple consideration such as some extra notice before guests, his reaction is to say you're at a stalemate rather than giving you that consideration.

In the past has he shown willingness to be flexible to accommodate you?

Is it possible that he's used to being extremely controlled by his parents, to the point that saying "Let's wait here in the living room another ten minutes so OP can meet you" or "Can you give me a little more notice when you'd like to come over?" feels impossible?