So, I have been your husband before and I think I can offer some insight. Your husband is unhappy at his job which is causing him to be resentful of you and your life as a stay at home mom. It may seem like he’s just not leaving his work at the door when he comes home, but I think it’s more likely that his resentment manifests itself in the aggressive, confrontational attitude you have described. I want to add, I’m not suggesting the life of a stay at home mom is easy, but it can be fun and satisfying on a very deep level which is something your husband may not get going to a job where everyone sees him as the bad guy and his day is made up of reprimanding employees and firing people…hence the resentment. The good news is that this is completely fixable; he just needs to leave his job or change things in his current position in a way that will make it so he doesn’t hate going to work.

If you care for some additional background, I work 2 jobs while my wife is a stay at home mom. One is a run of the mill office job and the other is my own business. I make about equal amounts of money from each job, and the goal is for my own business to grow in income over the next few years so that I may quit the office job. Anyhow, until that happens I’m working long hours and often times 6 days a week. I noticed when I’m particularly busy I can feel sort of the way you described your husband feeling. I see that my wife is having a fantastic time at home with our son and can’t help but feel resentment. She works so hard and does so much to make an incredible life for our little guy in no way are my feelings of resentment based on an actual belief that she’s not doing enough or pulling her own weight; I think it’s just hard sometimes to be feeling totally spent / exhausted / overwhelmed / stressed / unhappy from work and to see your spouse doing something so (sometimes) fun and rewarding albeit also very hard work. Our solution to this was simply for me to work less. My business is wedding photography, so I had to go into my calendar well in advance and block weekends off as “no bookings” to make sure I didn’t commit myself to so much work that I would end up feeling terrible. This has helped so much and I can honestly say has led to an increase in my / our quality of life.

Good luck, I think once your husband makes improves the quality of his work life you’ll see big improvements in his attitude at home.