He knows how I feel about it. The reason I feel like it's a commitment is because it makes the option so much more real. It's a bit different knowing you have biological constraints versus knowing you can take your time and use a surrogate when you decide it's time. I know that ultimately I can always say no, but it feels a bit like leading him on.

If it was a definite no, I'd feel fine saying no and leaving him to make the decision about what he wants. But it's not a definite no from me. I don't know. When I think about getting the rest of my 30s and beyond as a free woman, it's very, very appealing. But I also think about what it would be like to raise a child with him and that is also very, very appealing.